Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:05:29
Not going to become a filmstar by drinking cobra at Leopolds, so I thought I’d pull my finger out. Did a 2nd day on the ‘30s-based tv soap –’Monay rana dey’ we think its called – walking past the camera, sitting at the tables pretending to converse as the camera pans over you before closing in on the principals, that sort of thing. Much sitting around, sweating of the pink bits.
Much sitting in the bus, enjoying the cacophonous melee that is Mumbai traffic, more of a variable-speed fluid parking lot. Feature film debut: running about in the background dressed as a new york cop, behind Sabrina (who lives and works out here for Yash Raj studios, #1 production house) – playing an on the spot newscaster ['New York’ Y.R. films,2008]
Much photo-taking of us in police uniform by the French guys with me on this one. Forget to give them my email address, so those are lost to the ether.
Train up to Andheri west (n.Mumbai) for an audition – speaking part, east India company bigwig 1947 type thing. Critical part the casting director tells me, the camcorder winking ominously in the background. Got to deliver the lines in Hindi. Both paragraphs! He tells me to take them home and come back tomorrow. Memorize the lines. Perfectly. Back to Andheri, on goes the camcorder and away I go…”tum logo ko yahin trade karne hai te hume tax dena hi hoga….” pretty good for a novice methinks…”yahin Bengal area mein tax karne aur kilebanddhi karne ki faarman diye hai….” Delivered not quite flawlessly but pronounced so plain wrong he cant understand a word!
Done shoulda learned me that Hindi afore I came shoulda woulda coulda. There’s 10-12 thousand rupees a day all shot to hell and gone!
Imran is my man – the hardest-working of what are known as ‘colaba trawlers’, see him pretty much everyday. Asks me to do 4 days on the trot – and can I find him a couple of girls also…..
Catch ‘get smart’ because Steve Carrell is on the crest of a wave and is always funny; and that Anne Hathaway…..scorchio!
Do the 1st days shoot on ‘Dhostani’ – it’s a Mumbai modification (ripoff) of ‘the devil wears prada’…..Imran has corralled some 18 fellow suckers (it’s the 1st day of shooting adams, I cannot fuckup!). the driver takes the wrong route despite Imrans specific instructions, thus taking a mere 3hours and 40 mins to get to the set. Deep joy. Balls like roasted chestnuts. Probably cant have kids.
Spend the next 10 hours being sidelined for every shot like a spare cock at the wedding. I shitteth thee not – they use EVERYBODY, passing shots, background artiste-ing, being busy and I’m sent out of shot, every shot. The whole day. As Leicester Bob would say…fuck this for a game of soldiers!
Then I learn that the part I missed out on from the audition is for the new Salman Khan film.(bit of a big cheese)
Still, got to meet Abhai Deol and….Priyanka Chopra. Yup, she reeaaal purdty
Adam
‘this is where the rubber meets the road!’
